Tag Archives: random

Louie gives me hope

Louie is a good show. It’s the kind of show I’ve always wanted to watch. Not many shows interest me. TBBT was good for its humor, Two and a Half Men was equally good and Spartacus is good with all its blood. For the record, I’m not watching Spartacus for its sex. Of course you don’t believe.

louie

I wasn’t aware of Louie till @mdsoysa mentioned it on Twitter about a week back. Almost finished the first season and it’s hooked me up. For one, the episodes are just 20-25 minutes long, which is the right length for a TV episode. The black humor, when done right, is tempting, as in the case with Louie. But the best thing about Louie is, well, Louie. He’s the kind of washed up guy, single father, doesn’t really have much hope, but despite all of this, he’s cool and not complaining. He’s like myself, but done right. I ain’t no single father, but you get the idea. Even the opening credits scene cheers me up. And the music isn’t half bad.

I’ve decided to do stuff that cheers me up. Like watching Louie. And coding. Get immersed in a sea of Python or Javascript and watch your worries get washed away! I like my job; it may not be exactly what I want to be doing, but it’s hell of a lot better than what most people do for jobs out there. I don’t think Louie loves his job anyway. He’s a comedian. Comedians comede because they have to make a living. Not exactly the reason I code.

Being away from places like Facebook lessens your chances of depression. Even Twitter can be depressing at times. It used to be fun and lively some time back. Nothing is what they used to be anymore. I even registered at app.net looking for solace, but that ain’t the place.

Just sitting in your room with a lot of tic tac and a mug of Coke can cheer you up. Do you know what’s cool about tic tac and Coke? There’s this tiny little chance that you might die when you stuff yourself with a handful of tic tacs and a big gulp of Coke. That shit explodes when mixed right. Death by tic tac! Awesome!

Not sure if there’s anything that makes any sense in this post. Just ignore for good. It’s just that I like Louie coz it cheers me up.

How I wish we didn’t have to wish

Don’t you just hate wishing people on their birthdays? Especially when it’s not in real life? In real life, you can just ‘adoh happy birthday mchan, when’s the party?‘ and all. It’s simpler in Facebook: just a ‘happy birthday mchan!‘. But not so on Twitter.

I try to ignore birthdays as much as I can. Nobody will tell you it’s his birthday, so, you see, he doesn’t really know if I know if it’s his birthday, even though I know it’s his birthday and I know that he knows that there’s a good chance I’ve heard of his birthday but he really can’t prove it, so it’s just a matter of simple logic.

I wish this was always the case, but then, sometimes you really have to wish (pun intended). Like today, when I go to twitter everybody’s wishing MoAwesomeSauce for his birthday and you go to facebook and you see photos of his office treat or whatever, and when you go to twitter again you find him thanking for all the wishes he got, and then when you think it’s all over here come more ppl wishing him and then again more thanks follow.

*#?$. This is the point when you say ‘oh what the hell’ and try to compose a happy birthday message. What do you say? Happy birthday mchan? After you look at all the wishes he’s getting, such a simple one would make him think I’m like wishing for the sake of wishing, so no. Many happy returns of the day? Same story. And too common. Happy birthday mchan, when’s the party? I look at the wishes he’s got and none of them mentions about a treat so perhaps he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t give out treats? So… no.

His name is MoAwesomeSauce, so I could add some ‘awesome’ into the wish and make him feel good? So I write this and press Enter:

[tweet https://twitter.com/thameera/status/254463321007341568]

WTF! Isn’t that the lamest birthday wish ever? ‘Awesome’ is mentioned twice and there’s a smiley at the end! And the second sentence doesn’t even make any sense! Awkward at its best. And the worst part of it all? He thanks me with just a ‘thanks mate’! All the hardwork to that wish-with-two-awesomes-in-it dismissed with a simple ‘thanks mate’?

Has the world always been this way? Just three months to the apocalypse and we’re still sharing lame awkward birthday wishes? Will everything be alright after Sarath Fonseka forms his new party? Will Sarath Fonseka ever form a new party? Is he even out of prison yet?

So many questions. There’s nothing one can do but simply wish MoAwesomeSauce a very happy birthday and not think about it anymore.

Be lazy, be awesome

Learned that awesome people are generally lazy. Not quite sure where I got that from, but thought of giving it a try. It won’t hurt to try something like that, right?

no no no

Being lazy has its share of problems though. You can’t regularly update the blog if you’re lazy. I would open up wordpress.com every once in a while and start typing in a new post, only to remember that if I do that, the whole point of being lazy is lost. Damn.

Anyway I started this new blog kinda thing called Accidents Happen (don’t ask). Do subscribe to its feed. I’m hoping to choose two lucky subscribers randomly and give them Rs 500 gift vouchers from Vijitha Yapa Bookshop. Well, not really, but you should really subscribe just in case I did. The goal is to publish at least one small post a day there, but then again, being lazy won’t let you do that. Fuck.

During the few days I’ve been trying to act lazy, it dawned upon me that laziness is a productivity killer. But if that’s the price you have to pay for being awesome, you can’t complain, can you?

In other news, I gave up the idea of buying a rubber duck, coz my Ravage transformer seems be able to serve the purpose just fine.

Transformer USB pen

Getting ready for some hardcore debugging

Dr Mervin and Kelaniya

mervin silvaThe first time I noticed an express train stop at the Kelaniya station was on a poya day. Then I imagined that this was normal coz of the increased traffic to the Kelaniya temple on such days. But I was wrong.

Our beloved Dr Mervin Silva has ordered the express trains to stop in Kelaniya. Most of them now actually do. This might be a welcomed surprise for the people of Kelaniya, but it’s ridiculous actually. The other day I was in this express train (a long train with two powersets attached) to Rambukkana (?) and it stopped at Kelaniya. The platforms in this station were too short the train ended up having its two ends far away from the platform’s ends. The girls in the compartment I was in had such a difficult time getting off – they had to finally jump to the ground.

Forget that; having to stop in Kelaniya means the express train would have to stop in four consecutive stations: Fort, Maradana, Dematagoda and Kelaniya. This is stupid.

I’ve always respected Dr Mervin, ever since I was a sperm. He’s the only honorary doctor in the parliament after all. But I couldn’t help asking him…

why, Mervin?

To which he replied in kind,

because!

The truth behind life expanding photos [For men only]

Some people don’t seem to understand the concept of life expanding photos. For example, when I posted a life expanding photo yesternight, Madhawa replied by posting a link to a porn site saying that it would expand the life more. Stop. Looking at naked girls isn’t what really extends your life. I think it’s high time I explained the reasons behind posting all these life expanding pics.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

Yes, it’s staring at the boobs of a lovely lady that will extend your life. It is said that frequent staring at breasts can extend the life of a man by almost 5 years. The main reason behind is said to be improved blood circulation and lower blood pressure caused by the act. And it cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack by almost half.

It’s also to be noted that it’s not the quantity of boobs that matter, but the quality. For example, the picture to the left does not yield good results as the picture to the right does.

 Lots of boobs

Bad

 Beautiful boobs

Good

 
I hope this short article shed some light on the basics of the theory of life expanding. If you have further insights into the subject feel free to share.

Kids!

Few years back I used to be a kid-hater. They are the most annoying species in this world, right? But not anymore.

It seems I’m becoming attracted to kids by the day. Not in a sexual way of course. But they are adorable and chubby little things! Awww, how sweet do they look! And the feeling you get when you touch their cheeks! Cuter than kittens, if you ask me.

They say you begin to adore kids when you become pregnant. I was worried, until a good friend of mine showed me that it’s an impossiblity because I’m a boy. Oh well. We have been subject to such injustice from the beginning, but boys don’t cry.

Anyway I don’t want a baby, at least yet. Just looking at them playing and laughing (and crying) is sufficient for the moment. I stare at the kids at our workplace (we have a day care center there for the employees) and I love to watch how they stare at me back. Sounds creepy? Bitch please! Show the kids your love!

A new baby is like the beginning of all things – wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
Eda J. Le Shan

I’m a pickpocket

PickpocketingI’m a pickpocket. That’s my sole livelihood. Now don’t call me a criminal; picking pockets ain’t that bad.

For one, I believe that nothing in this world happens by chance. No good deed goes unrewarded. Likewise, no bad deed goes unpunished. That’s just the way things are. If your pocket was picked that means that you have done something that deserves it. You have done something bad. If it was me who picked that pocket I was just being an agent in punishing you; I wasn’t being evil. If I didn’t pick that pocket someone else would have taken my place.

Picking pockets isn’t much risky either. You just have to know the techniques. And the correct place and time. There are no books on the subject, you have to rely on experience. Furthermore, since pickpocketing doesn’t involve weapons the jail time is shorter. Well, that’s if you were careless enough to get caught.

I have to support a family and the only life skill I’ve learned is pickpocketing. That leaves me with no other option. Considering the ‘no bad deed goes unpunished’ theory and the fact that this not being much risky, it isn’t a bad business at all, now, is it?

Edit: Forgot to mention, I always send back the IDs in those pockets back to their owners, regardless of the amount of money they had in the wallet. Kudos to Sapumal for reminding me.

Why we should stop Binku from coming to Sri Lanka

Binku
Binku is coming to Sri Lanka in a few days.
Who is this Binku? What does he want from us?
Please think over the following facts about him before you think of welcoming him to Sri Lanka.
  • Most of us haven’t actually met Binku in real life. We don’t know what kind of a crook he really is.
  • Binku is from Canada. Justin Bieber is from Canada.
  • Binku has posted 50,000+ tweets. Why would a normal person tweet that much?
  • Binku hasn’t publicly announced the exact reason he’s coming to Sri Lanka. No one comes to Sri Lanka without a reason.
  • Binku claims that his real name is Narada Thomas. A senior immigration officer confirmed that there are no records of a Narada Thomas leaving Sri Lanka.

Dear friends, none of us know the real intentions of Binku and why he’s coming to Sri Lanka. The only advice I can give you is hide your wife; hide your kids. If possible, leave Sri Lanka before he lands on this soil.

Wiping out your race?

racismThere are blogs. Then there are racist blogs. I happened to see one of the latter today.
The blog warns us that there’s a master plan by the international community to wipe out our race and goes on to explain how the plan is being carried out presently. Apparently that’s supposed to be a long term plan and there’s plenty of evidence to suggest the authenticity of its claims. Pretty convincing, I would say. The message the writer is trying to give is clear. Open your eyes. Your race is doomed. Join and fight for survival.

What the fuck! Why would one be worried about his race being swept out? What good would it do if your race survives? Will the others feel alone without you? (They of course won’t coz it’s the others that are planning your demise.)
When a race is wiped away from the face of the earth, its culture and traditions would be gone as well. But what good would it do if they continued to exist?
None. Zilt. Nothing. Even the humanity would die away one day. The earth as we know wouldn’t be there forever. Some things may die quickly and others may stay a while.
I know that by now the reader may have taken me as a weirdo or a lunatic trying to make crazy remarks to get heard or something, but I don’t care. This is what I feel.
I love my race. But that’s only one side of the story.