Don’t you just hate wishing people on their birthdays? Especially when it’s not in real life? In real life, you can just ‘adoh happy birthday mchan, when’s the party?‘ and all. It’s simpler in Facebook: just a ‘happy birthday mchan!‘. But not so on Twitter.

I try to ignore birthdays as much as I can. Nobody will tell you it’s his birthday, so, you see, he doesn’t really know if I know if it’s his birthday, even though I know it’s his birthday and I know that he knows that there’s a good chance I’ve heard of his birthday but he really can’t prove it, so it’s just a matter of simple logic.

I wish this was always the case, but then, sometimes you really have to wish (pun intended). Like today, when I go to twitter everybody’s wishing MoAwesomeSauce for his birthday and you go to facebook and you see photos of his office treat or whatever, and when you go to twitter again you find him thanking for all the wishes he got, and then when you think it’s all over here come more ppl wishing him and then again more thanks follow.

*#?$. This is the point when you say ‘oh what the hell’ and try to compose a happy birthday message. What do you say? Happy birthday mchan? After you look at all the wishes he’s getting, such a simple one would make him think I’m like wishing for the sake of wishing, so no. Many happy returns of the day? Same story. And too common. Happy birthday mchan, when’s the party? I look at the wishes he’s got and none of them mentions about a treat so perhaps he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t give out treats? So… no.

His name is MoAwesomeSauce, so I could add some ‘awesome’ into the wish and make him feel good? So I write this and press Enter:

@MoAwesomeSauce Happy awesome birthday dude! Mo awesome bdays to come! 🙂

— Thameera Senanayaka (@thameera) October 6, 2012

WTF! Isn’t that the lamest birthday wish ever? ‘Awesome’ is mentioned twice and there’s a smiley at the end! And the second sentence doesn’t even make any sense! Awkward at its best. And the worst part of it all? He thanks me with just a ‘thanks mate’! All the hardwork to that wish-with-two-awesomes-in-it dismissed with a simple ‘thanks mate’?

Has the world always been this way? Just three months to the apocalypse and we’re still sharing lame awkward birthday wishes? Will everything be alright after Sarath Fonseka forms his new party? Will Sarath Fonseka ever form a new party? Is he even out of prison yet?

So many questions. There’s nothing one can do but simply wish MoAwesomeSauce a very happy birthday and not think about it anymore.

Some people don’t seem to understand the concept of life expanding photos. For example, when I posted a life expanding photo yesternight, Madhawa replied by posting a link to a porn site saying that it would expand the life more. Stop. Looking at naked girls isn’t what really extends your life. I think it’s high time I explained the reasons behind posting all these life expanding pics.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

Yes, it’s staring at the boobs of a lovely lady that will extend your life. It is said that frequent staring at breasts can extend the life of a man by almost 5 years. The main reason behind is said to be improved blood circulation and lower blood pressure caused by the act. And it cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack by almost half.

It’s also to be noted that it’s not the quantity of boobs that matter, but the quality. For example, the picture to the left does not yield good results as the picture to the right does.

 

Bad

 

Good

 
I hope this short article shed some light on the basics of the theory of life expanding. If you have further insights into the subject feel free to share.