Dr Mervin and Kelaniya

Uncategorized 11 Comments

mervin silvaThe first time I noticed an express train stop at the Kelaniya station was on a poya day. Then I imagined that this was normal coz of the increased traffic to the Kelaniya temple on such days. But I was wrong.

Our beloved Dr Mervin Silva has ordered the express trains to stop in Kelaniya. Most of them now actually do. This might be a welcomed surprise for the people of Kelaniya, but it’s ridiculous actually. The other day I was in this express train (a long train with two powersets attached) to Rambukkana (?) and it stopped at Kelaniya. The platforms in this station were too short the train ended up having its two ends far away from the platform’s ends. The girls in the compartment I was in had such a difficult time getting off – they had to finally jump to the ground.

Forget that; having to stop in Kelaniya means the express train would have to stop in four consecutive stations: Fort, Maradana, Dematagoda and Kelaniya. This is stupid.

I’ve always respected Dr Mervin, ever since I was a sperm. He’s the only honorary doctor in the parliament after all. But I couldn’t help asking him…

why, Mervin?

To which he replied in kind,

because!

The Hanging Man

Uncategorized 4 Comments

By the roots of my hair some god got hold of me.
I sizzled in his blue volts like a desert prophet.

The nights snapped out of sight like a lizard’s eyelid:
A world of bald white days in a shadeless socket.

A vulturous boredom pinned me in this tree.
If he were I, he would do what I did.

The poem is written by Sylvia Plath who committed suicide in 1963. She was awarded with the Pulitzer prize after her death.

For those who get the meaning of the poem, you may also be interested in the cases surrounding Ernest Hemingway’s suicide in 1961.

Plugging the USB half-way

Uncategorized 16 Comments

USB connector

As you can see from the above image, the power and ground pins of a USB connector are situated on its either side and the two data pins are placed in between. Also notice that the data pins are situated a bit inward compared to the power pins. As a result of this, when you plug in a USB, power is supplied to the device first before it can begin transferring data.

“Okay, that’s fine, but what am I to do with this?” you ask.

Plug USB half way

Well, my friend, you can exploit this subtle feature by plugging a USB port only half way into the device. This enables the device to power up without making a data connection. In case of a mobile phone, you can connect the data cable half way to charge the phone without mounting the SD card. This can be pretty useful when working with MP3 players too.

“This is pretty cool!” you say. “Thanks!”

Anytime. 🙂

By the river Nilwala I sat down and wept

Uncategorized 7 Comments

nilwala riverBy the river Nilwala I sat down
And wept. The young lovers were
Holding each others’ hands and laughing
and singing their songs
Like there’s tomorrow. And I,
The old, tattered soul,
Heavy with all the melancholy and sorrow,
Let the tears mix with
The incessant stream, grieving
Over the songs I couldn’t sing.

The Nilwala flowed, it didn’t know
And neither did anyone know
Of the tears mingled in the huge flow.
And why, why should anyone know
The tears of a loser the world
doesn’t need to know about.
They may well be washed into
The deep, dark ocean and forgotten
Forever.

Title inspired from By the river Piedra I sat down and wept.

The truth behind life expanding photos [For men only]

Uncategorized 9 Comments

Some people don’t seem to understand the concept of life expanding photos. For example, when I posted a life expanding photo yesternight, Madhawa replied by posting a link to a porn site saying that it would expand the life more. Stop. Looking at naked girls isn’t what really extends your life. I think it’s high time I explained the reasons behind posting all these life expanding pics.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

Yes, it’s staring at the boobs of a lovely lady that will extend your life. It is said that frequent staring at breasts can extend the life of a man by almost 5 years. The main reason behind is said to be improved blood circulation and lower blood pressure caused by the act. And it cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack by almost half.

It’s also to be noted that it’s not the quantity of boobs that matter, but the quality. For example, the picture to the left does not yield good results as the picture to the right does.

 Lots of boobs

Bad

 Beautiful boobs

Good

 
I hope this short article shed some light on the basics of the theory of life expanding. If you have further insights into the subject feel free to share.

Happy mew year?

Uncategorized 4 Comments

Beyond the door there’s peace I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven
– Tears in heaven by Eric Clapton

Mayans could have ended their calendar with 2011. Now that they didn’t, we have another year to live in. Another load of sorrows to be engulfed in. Another year where haters gonna hate and creepers gonna creep. Another set of suicide attempts where most would be unsucessful.

Sigh. Just imagine having to live through all this for another year. Don’t you think the world is better off dead? I know you do. No? Fuck off.

And finally, happy mew year to all the cats around!

Cat middle finger